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THE MUCH ANTICIPATED GENERAL PATRAEU$ REPORT

Jesus On Ice




Fox News reports the US military surge against Taliban insurgents in Iraq has been successful. US coalition forces have stabilized and secured anti-American interests in the region and have once again reconnected Baghdad's electricity and snow cone making capabilities. Pentagon sources confirmed that Disney's recent production, Jesus on Ice, has opened on schedule to record crowds in downtown Baghdad. New balastic metrics support the recent deployment of amored Zamboni's have made the difference in securing smooth ice for the 201st Skating Company. Additional shipments of Zamboni's are scheduled to arrive in Baghdad in early October. Talks are also under way with OPEC and the IOC for Baghdad's bid for the 2408 Winter Olympics.



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